This is "The Thing"

Trans-Atlantic communication...well, it sucks.

I hate being anywhere between 4-8 hours ahead of my friends and family, I can't talk to them whenever I want and this stupid Daylight Savings Time thing is mixing me up! Why can't England just turn their clocks back when Canada does? That way, my Dad can just tell me when to turn my clocks back. It would save the mid-shower panic that I had this morning when I convinced myself that it was 5:20 AM and I was up for work an hour early. Oops.

Well, "the" inspection call has come for the school. No, not Ofsted. We're not so lucky as to get it out of the way this early in the year. Instead, 2 inspectors from HMI will be coming in to observe lessons, talk with senior management and generally cause a heightened state of anxiety and tension in the school later this week. What does HMI stand for, you ask?

Well. Her Majesty's Inspectors, naturally. I only wish I were kidding. Again, I'll say it. Lizzie...you are becoming quite the pain.

On a positive note, the set for WWRY was built over the weekend and the kids got to get on the stage and try it out for the first time. It's starting to get to crunch time, only 6 weeks left to go! Thankfully, once this horrendously stressful week is over, it's holiday! I'm off to Norway on the first available flight on Friday evening and I can't wait to get there. I get to help celebrate my favourite brother-in-laws birthday and generally relax.

Other upcoming events this week...I get to chaperone a field trip for the first time. Hang on to your hats kiddies. Your minds will be blown when I tell you where I get to go. Ready? Really ready? I get to chaperone 45 little Year 7s as they adventure to...

The Shoe Museum! (again...I only wish I were kidding)

Northampton had a huge shoe-making industry and one of the trips that the Year 7s get to take is to visit the shoe museum...and yours truly gets to take part in this adventure in wonderland. Be jealous.

I should be asleep. Or planning. Or planning until I fall asleep. Whatever comes first. Instead, I was abruptly dismissed from a conversation I was having with a friend (again, this time-change thing is really ticking me off tonight for whatever reason) and I'm finding myself annoyed by it. I miss having face to face contact with friends, when communication actually meant something and goodbye meant something more than a click of a button--without waiting for a reply...rude.

Alright, that last comment was cranky, bordering on whiny. I suppose it is time for bed. If I survive this week, I'll reward myself in Norway. Lefse & decent coffee..roll on!

A Canadian Abroad: A (Definitely Not Complete) Linguistic Guide to Living in England

Over the last year and a bit, I've somewhat started to figure out exactly what these British people are saying. This is a (definitely not exhaustive) list of some of the slang terms I have picked up/heard while living across the pond. Enjoy!

Expressions

• Hello, how are you--alright? (Asked as a question...still not sure if people actually want a response.)
• Don't you think/do you agree--innit (used in the same way that Canadians say 'eh')
• Bad--mingin' (I think...I still can't quite catch this one)
• Going well--tickety-boo (seriously? No sweet clue)
• Get drunk--get pissed
• Party/fancy occasion--do (Example: "went to a fancy do last night")
• Thank you--cheers/ta
• "Insert general term of frustration"--bloody hell, blimey
• Go to the bathroom (for men, usually)--take a slash
• If something has gone wrong--pear-shaped (example: "it's all gone pear-shaped!), tits up
• The equivalent of "that's what she said," or something to mark a double entendre--Said the actress to the bishop
• The next one takes a bit of explanation. When I hear the word 'cottaging,' I figure that it means that a person is going to their cottage. In England, the term cottaging means for two men to engage in sexual acts in a parked car while others may or may not watch.

Insults

• To make fun of someone--take the mick/take the mickey, take the piss
• Get out of here--piss off, jog on, sod off
• Idiot--prat, git, sod, twat, eejit (I think this is an Irish one..?)
• Someone rather flamboyant, of the possible homosexual variety--pouf
• A skank--slag
• To call someone a penis (the equivalent of dickhead, I think)--bender, knob

Body Parts

• Boobs--top-bollocks
• A man's genitals--bollocks, knob, willy (Note: bollocks can also be used as an expression of doubt. Example: "you're full of bollocks!")
• A woman's "lady bits"--front-bottom, fanny (my students thought it was hilarious that fanny meant butt in Canada)

Objects

• Greyhound Bus--coach
• Truck--lorry
• Trailer (mini home)--caravan
• Rubber gloves--marigolds
• Cigarettes--fag, baccy
• Rubber boots--wellies
• Hot drink (usually tea or coffee)--cuppa
• Clothes rack--clothes horse
• Hickey--love bite
• Food--nosh
• Underwear--pants
• Pants (jeans, dress pants, etc)--trousers
• Money--dosh
• Eraser--rubber (this one caused a lot of confusion)
• White-out--tipex
• Glue sticks--pritsticks
• Document wallet--polly pockets
• Dessert, of most any variety--pudding
• Garbage can--bin

Miscellaneous—objects/words

• Americans--Yanks
• Supper--tea (e.g.--I made pasta for tea last night)
• Procrastinate--faff, faff about
• Avoid work--skive
• Back yard--garden
• Car hood--bonnet
• Car trunk--boot
• Fight--batter him/bang him out
• Cool--Safe, sick
• Uncool--dread
• Move over--budge up
• Skip school--wag it
• Nothing--nuffink
• Friend--bruv/blood
• The equivalent of a wanna-be tough guy/thug--chav
• Soccer--football (I'd be shot at dawn if I didn't include this one)
• Amazed about something--gobsmacked
• Disappointed by something--gutted
• Nap/sleep-kip
• Tired--knackered
• Very--jolly (example: "jolly good!")
• To wear civilian clothes (for example, my students want a day at school where they don't have to wear their uniform)--mufti
• Steal--nick
• To pleasure yourself--have a wank
• Whine--whinge (to whine is to whinge....to be a whiner is to be a whinger)
• Attractive--fit, bang tidy
• Something--sumthink/summit
• Call someone--ring them
• Fight--row
• To annoy or antagonize someone--wind them up
• Homeless person--tramp, dosser
• Bathroom--toilet, loo (very direct, eh)
• Pound (as in unit of weight)--measured in 'stones.' One stone equals 14 pounds. Therefore, your weight could be 8 stone 2 pound which translates to 114 pound. Somewhat confusing.

I'm sure that I've left out a lot. Please do forgive the oversight. Also, I didn't even think of touching the unfathomable Cockney rhyming slang. When the "taters in mould" (apparently a term for it being cold outside...) come out, I've got no idea what the hell these people are saying. I'm also realizing that these terms are not applicable to all of England, and all of the different counties/regions have their own slang...becoming fluent in "British" is going to take some serious time investment. Hope you enjoyed!

Another Countdown

Already counting the days until midterm, Christmas, a visit from certain Canadian friends, Easter break, end of year. I like having a long-term plan.

Went to London on Wednesday night to see The Lion King. It was absolutely amazing. From the very beginning to the last curtain call, it was fantastic. The set design, the costumes, singing and the use of the theatre space, it was awesome. Aside from getting startled by low-flying (fake) birds, it was great. The fact that all of the male actors were beautifully built and spent most of the musical shirtless only added to the overall experience.

Sadly, my late-night in London and a couple other late nights throughout the week led to me spending most of the day yesterday sleeping off some form of illness. Naturally, it was one of the most beautiful Saturdays in quite a while, so naturally I would be sick. I think I've slept most of it off, but I definitely wish I could have another day or two for the weekend. Wishful thinking.

Another One Bites the Dust

So here it is another weekend...another week come and gone. It was a busy week at work this week..two rehearsals, one definitely better than the other, and a paired lesson observation. To explain to anyone unfamiliar with the British system, lesson observations are when members of senior leadership (the headmaster, vice principals, etc) come into your lesson to watch you, see how you teach and see how the students are doing. It always makes me nervous, but it's a good progress check. Anyway, each year, during the first month of school, teachers are observed and my turn was yesterday morning. First lesson, the kids are usually still sleepy and pretty quiet. My lesson observation went well, I got almost perfect marks, so I'm quite happy with that.

Rehearsals for WWRY have picked up to twice a week now, once on Monday and once on Thursday. Monday is usually singing and choreography and Thursday is putting it all together. I can't believe it's only 9 weeks until the show comes up. Really...dear, sweet readers. Please come see my show. It's gonna rock you.

The most exciting thing in the next week--no lesson observations (for me!) and a trip to the West End to see The Lion King on Wednesday evening. Can't wait :). Next on the list to see is Wicked, Phantom of the Opera, Les Mis, Mamma Mia, Billy Elliot, Matilda, Shrek...the list goes on and on. I think I need a pay raise.

Jessica C Presents...

The adventures of the Hoblet.

Another week has come and gone and I'm very happy that it's the weekend. Rehearsals for WWRY have picked up to twice/week and I'm definitely noticing the difference. My week has been really busy, but it's been a good one. The show is coming together and, in 10 short weeks, it will be going up! This is an open invitation to every single friend and family member who is reading this (along with my apparent fanbase in Germany and Poland...really?)-- if you come to my show, I will buy your ticket. And throw in a crumpet or two to sweeten the deal.

All that aside, this week coming should be exciting. Some staff & students are making another trip down to the West End to see a musical--this time we're going to The Lion King! I'm really excited, I've heard that it's one of the best performances to see. I'm also excited for rehearsals for my show and being one week closer to my mid-term holiday (I enjoy looking into the future).

Due to some very late nights throughout the week (more specific, some very early mornings because of a new-found discovery of webcam on Facebook), I was planning on having an early night last night. Around 9:30, Aran's lovely girlfriend, Plamina, texted to say that we were going out and I had an hour to get ready. So much for my early night.

We got all dressed up and headed out for some drinks and catchup. A good and incident-free night (Plamina assuming the identity of a lesbian Canadian named Louise aside) until we were making the tottering walk home. The long-legged Plamina easily climbed over a low cement median dividing the road and warned me not to fall. What do I do? Fall. Spectacularly. Cuts to the hand, both knees and the crook of my knee scraped and cut nicely open. I am a wonder. I got home, cleaned up and now walk like I have permanent swagger. Oh yeah. I'm gangster without even trying.

And that is the tale of The Hoblet.

On This Day.

It's been 10 years today since the world changed. The world changed and I'm part of the generation that has grown up in a distrustful, hateful, society. I've been taught to fear the 'others.' I've been taught to judge a person on their dress, on their religion, on their skin colour.

I talk to my students, some of whom were only 3 years old on 9/11. I look at my sister's students, who weren't even born when the world changed. They have grown up knowing nothing but the culture of fear and the backlash against those who are 'different' than themselves. I have Muslim students talk about the troubles they face at airports, dozens of teenagers who can't remember what life was like before the manhunts began for Bin Laden and Saddam Hussein. Well, now they are both gone, and has their legacy faltered? No, it's stronger than it ever was before.

Where has this 'war on terror' left the world? Has America defended the ideas of civil liberties, democracy, freedom and safety in the countries they invaded in hopes of 'saving' from their oppressors?

Each generation is given a new target, a new enemy to fear and to hate. Will there ever be a generation without a war, without the threat of an invisible enemy lurking in the shadow's, ready to destroy all that is good in the world? I remember where I was the moment the world changed. Hearing the news and not quite believing and definitely not understanding the impact that it would have. I watched the first coverage on the news as Iraq was invaded, I listened to the propaganda of a world-class idiot, left to run the world's most powerful nation, and I wondered how or if it would end.

Saddam Hussein is dead, Bin Laden is dead. Yet it doesn't take a genius to know that it doesn't matter if they lived or died. Their legacy, those loyal to them both, would still carry on. And so, because of this, the war still rages. I had friends deployed overseas and, for months on end, would hate reading the headlines about dead soldiers, fearing that they would be among them. I try to understand their drive, their passion for their job, and I am worried by the racism and prejudice that I hear. I know I don't understand what it is like--I will never understand and will never appreciate the realities of living in a combat zone. But should our soldiers be trained to hate? Is it right to teach them to hate all of the 'others' that are 'over there' and see them all as one in the same? I mean no offence to anyone reading this. I fully support the bravery of those willing to sacrifice themselves in the line of duty. It is the war, the unjust and illegal war, that I do not support.

What will happen in the world from now on? Will our advancements in technology finally bring about the peace and liberties for all? Definitely not. I believe that it will be used for more weapons of destruction, weapons of terror and death. Human beings are fragile things. But the cruelty and evil in mankind is one of the strongest forces in the world.

Will there ever be a generation that is brought into the world and not force-fed the prejudices, the fears and hates of their predecessors? It is a cruel thing, to teach the innocent that they ought to fear 'them' and create this constant state of fear and mistrust. My thoughts this morning are on those missing loved ones, on those still fighting in this war, and on the generations to come who will be drafted into this war without a choice. Whether it be 'them' or 'us', I dislike thinking about all of the hatred that will be driven into the minds and hearts of those who will grow up in a world knowing no other way.

It is 10 years ago on this day that the world changed and, in a single morning, history was changed forevermore.

Back At It

My brain still feels like it should be on holiday. It's been almost a month since I've been on here, and I wish that I was still able to say 'I have ___ many days of summer holiday left.' Oh well. Back at it, back to school and back to routine.

But, before I bother with all that boring stuff, the best part should come first. My birthday trip to Norway! It was awesome. I landed on Tuesday night and, because of workers doing renovations at Sarah & Kristian's, I decided to go into work with Sarah on Wednesday, Thursday & Friday. For those of you who know my sister, she is a teacher as well. You're thinking, oh, not such a big deal, it would just be like going into school and following the same routine. Yeah, definitely not the case. I teach high school. Sarah teaches elementary school. A reception (Kindergarten) class, to be more specific. In the 3 days I spent in the classroom, it made me absolutely certain and sure that I am where I am meant to be--a high school classroom. Sure, I don't get as many hugs from adorable little children who always want to be cuddled or have their hands held as they walk across the playground to recess, but I am thankfully glad I don't have to wipe runny noses in my job. Something I never want to do again. All in all, the kids were really cute and I had lots of fun...but only as a visitor.

On the Thursday of my visit, the 25th, Sarah & Kristian took me out to celebrate my birthday with a wonderful dinner at a restaurant downtown. They gave me a beautiful jewellery box when we got home :). On Saturday, we went to Sidsel & Jon Einar's for a family dinner, where I squared off with the aquavit again. After supper, Sarah, Kristian & I went back to there place for some drinks and Wii with Per and Martin. We headed downtown to Cardinal, the pub that is 24+, so I was finally able to get in without having to walk in between two tall people and hope they don't notice me. Turned out to be a late night, but a fun night :).

On Sunday, Sarah & Kristian took me to my first live football (soccer) match! Despite getting distracted and missing important parts of the game (like the only goal being scored), I had lots of fun. I can start to see why people get a little nuts for football over here.

The rest of my visit involved coffee with Michelle & Jesper, my favourite Norwegian baby, lots of lefse, walks around the lake (including an embarrassing incident with me getting scared by ducks), and visiting with Kristian's family, including taking his parent's St Bernard puppy for a walk along the beach. I wasn't incredibly excited to come back to England, but it helped that my suitcase was weighed down with lots of lefse until I go back. I was given some beautiful gifts for my birthday and I'm starting to think my Norwegian birthday celebration should become a yearly tradition!

So, it's now back to school and back to the routine. I will admit that, tiring though this week may have been, it is 10x better than the start I had last year. Even though I hardly slept at all the night before school started, I'm much happier and much more sane, for a better word. It's been a long week, rehearsals for the musical started again and have now picked up to twice/week, and I'm glad it's the weekend. It definitely helped to finish the week of with a great big glass of wine with Nikki. Next week brings a lesson observation by a school governor, getting back into WWRY full-swing and trying to stay sane through it all.

Here we go week 2!