So Here It Is...

I've done it....I made it through my first year of teaching.

God, I thought this day would never come. (Now that it has, though, it's a very strange feeling.)

This year was such a hard one, and I learned more than I did during my teacher training. Nothing like being thrown into a lake and figuring out how to swim in the process. That's kind of what it was like for me at Malcolm Arnold. When I first arrived, I didn't think it would be all that bad. My teacher training in Canada had been good, my internships had been successful (barring one heinous and horrific cooperating teacher at my first school--my wonderful colleagues at my second school made up for that in a big way), and I thought I knew all the little tricks in the book.

Day one ended in tears. Day two ended in tears. I think it took 4 or 5 weeks before I made it through the week without crying at some point. I started counting down to Christmas before I had even taken off from Halifax the day that I moved over. Throughout the first term, I struggled and tried to figure out if this was what the hell I even wanted and, if it wasn't, what the hell did I want and how the hell could I get it?!

Joel moved home at Christmastime and, on my return, I was flying solo. Coming back to the empty apartment, knowing I wasn't going to be home for 7 months meant lots of homesick moments and a few teary conversations with home. 

Throughout the spring and into the summer term, there was a distinct change in my feelings towards work. It wasn't so bad most days...then I started looking forward to going to school...and by the end of the day today, when 30+ student were beating and chanting out We Will Rock You on 20 tables, I realized that I loved my job.

I love my job, I love my students.

Please don't get me wrong. There are still days that make me want to pull my hair out. Days that make me want to go back to Canada. Days that make me want to drop-kick a kid or two (am I allowed to say that?) and make them understand how horrific they are actually acting.

All that aside...I still love it here.

Over the last year, I have learned so much and I have made a lot of progress. I'm very proud of myself and have gotten praise from the headmaster, which I'm also quite proud of. It was strange to pull down all the work I had displayed on the walls and to see my Canadian flag, which has been hanging proudly in my classroom for the past 10 months, folded up and put away in my cupboard (it better still be waiting for me in September).

I imagined this post to be long and full of self-reflection and all the thought-provoking moments that occurred over the year. Apparently not. I think I'm just tired. I'm weary and I want to go back to Canada...this time tomorrow, I'll almost be home. My body knows that it's time to be back home, I know that it's time to go back. I definitely am ready for this holiday.

I will end this with a huge thank-you to all my colleagues from Malcolm Arnold, with a special thanks to a few in particular.

Helen(s), Leigh, Angela, Lucy, Emma, Zoe & Debbie--supportive and comforting, you all helped me through a tough year and helped me cope with what seemed like an impossible task. Without all of you, whether going out for meals, going to the opera (what a night!), going out for coffee, giggling through the final Harry Potter movie and ruining the experience for a very disgruntled 8-year-old, or just laughing in the staff office, you all helped me through this. It was a wonderful department and I can't wait to see what comes next for all of us.

Kate, my mentor--wonderful and supportive, you always helped me through the really tough 'learning curves' and helped me have a fantastic year. It has been wonderful to spend time with you, laugh and work together. I'm so happy you are my faculty head next year.