A Few Reasons Why

Today made me step back from all of the crap that you spout when you're training to be a teacher (the..I want to be a teacher because I want to motivate the younger generations. I want to change the world, one child at a time blah blah blah...All that stuff) and realize why I became a teacher.

Going to school this morning, I was exhausted, cold, and still thinking about Tyler passing away. My 'tough' Year 9 class files in, the kids are swearing, throwing stuff at each other and across the room, yelling and shouting. The usual. But, by the end of that 50 minutes, I was smiling again. I can't explain why, but being with my students again made me happy. Thinking about Tyler's death made me realize that I do appreciate all of my students...even if they drive me nuts some days with their behaviour, I like them beyond the 'student' part. I like them as people. I wish I'd thought to tell that to all of my students that I've ever come into contact with.

Last lesson of the day, my free lesson, I had plans to do my marking. Coffee all made, marking pens at the ready and background music to slightly distract me every once in awhile. Suddenly, the door opens up and one of my 'tough as nails and can't be bothered' girls walks into my classroom. She sit down on the table and begins to pour out all of the stuff that's been going through her head and why she just can't deal with today. This girl, who swears and shouts louder than the rest of them during my lesson and can often be seen tearing down the hall with other students when she should be in lessons, came to me and showed me the trust I've been wanting to earn for the last 9 months. We talked about the serious stuff, what it was like to be a teenager, what we would change about education if we could and inconsequential stuff as well. The bell rang at the end of the day, she walked out of the class with a 'bye miss' and not a backwards glance.

She'll still act the same as always in class. Still give the 'can't bother to deal with it' attitude toward me, the work, school and life in general. But I know that the beautiful young woman that I talked to today is in there somewhere. And it's pretty awesome for me to think that she wanted to share that person with me. I haven't changed the world, I haven't motivated this girl to become a rocket scientist or a brain surgeon (didn't I somewhat encourage her to skip class by letting her just sit and chill with me when she should have been in lessons?) but I feel a difference. This is why. Days like today make me realize why I wanted to teach. Why all of the headaches, the endless meetings, the boring prep work, the behaviour that makes you want to pull your hair out and scream, the whatnots and so ons...why all of that is worth it for 50 minutes of talking to her, not as a teacher to pupil, 'grown-up' (God forbid) to kid but person to person. Realizing she trusted me enough to let me see another side of her. Realizing that these tough experiences bring amazing rewards. And these rewards aren't often tangible things. But you can't put a price on trust and respect.

My marking is still not done and I don't care in the least.